mousecheese

web sites update

2011-06-16T14:23:00.000-07:00

in the process of updating web site.. old music old mixes and old videos phone numbers etc.. so please be patient with this administrator his is seemingly coming out of his coma. much love. mousecheese new compilation coming out in august. give 5!

2011-03-21T17:50:00.000-07:00

im not gonna compromise im not gonna dramatise im not gonna most likely spell that well .. but on the most part in the moment the least i can do for you is be honest.. im sure ive made a few mistakes. but oh the most part im a happy living breathing human doing the best that it can. it being me. difined on a number of subjects but would rather remain in the moment in motion. so the moment will always pass.. joe pass with ella fitzgerald. or some amazing piano concert in the moment on the stage. you practice and practice to become the piece for a moment.. i thought i new what love was for a moment.. i though i found peace.. but all in all.. it seems to go and come at will. as i was saying i do feel lighter but it still does get heavy at times.. but as far as projects go. im actually getting things done. my health is so so. but im sure i am healthy i just get tierd.. and it might be cause i am sensitive.. i work in waves.. and know better to not fight it. as much as go through the wringer of sorts.. i wil pay the price and do the karma.. i see it come quick and except it. i done a few people wrong but mostly myself.. 3 albums done by june! a new website for me and the recordlabel.. art art art alot of it... and new compilation for black rock city. all by august..

ive gone quite mad of late. and had some help with loco wierdos and what not.. can blame the crushes cant blame the uggs and thugs.. wanties dont getties.. and the yoga clean machine.. a good diet and workout rotine.. work ethics.. work consistant.. working on new covers.. for fun for love .. its been nice to appriciate myself and not worry about well. alot of things that i used to worry about.. i want better posture.. more energy and less bullshit..

the need for tea

2009-09-06T19:17:00.000-07:00

the cup is hot and it wants you so bad you can taste it.. but your drinking another beer..and meeting the most wonder people that you would have never met if you would could have.. you wanted to .. and you would of .. but something did not let you and now your here alone with shane gooding with the smiths with some crazy loone that seems like you might have been like, could have been like, mad fun and you gut runs to many people to really get to know so you better atleast get to know yourself.. but its so simple but your some complex bitch slap bitch creeks river runs deep and this sheep is the shepard better grades the better behaves, not to much not to little. im grounding.. im lighting fires in my own mind. its really non of your business but if you must know stop belive in the if or the but or somekind of doubt.. i don't know im just killing time believing in miracles planting seeds and reliezing the road is dead ahead.. not doubting the story with all its glory and sutle clues popping up before things happen.. hey i knew that was gonna but oh.. wait stop yourself.. there you go... there you went.. here you are.. Tenderness.... Easy.... Simple.... Comfortable ... Relaxed...
At Ease.. Its really Alright.. ... you don't have to apologize... you don't have to be sorry.. how could you have known.. Lets make it Easier . Lets make it simple.. Stop Trying so hard... Let go.

London

2009-09-02T06:23:00.000-07:00

So theres this stange asian fellow hacking his lungs out next to us in this room full of computers @ this hostel in london.. just arivved a little while ago and im thinking i want to take a bat to his head for being so rude .... but i don't i put my shirt over my mouth and nose and wright to you.. can't get to specific .. i have been keeping a journal. but its in my room.. 306b.. its like some wierd training camp like we are all soldiers travelers.. and all is all is all. but some are strange and some it seems are sick as i hear him drool and snot and nasty nasty bat in the face.. soon.. maybe a chair.. can't say that the big city is forgiving until you go in a bar... i might have hung out with god on the way in to london.. might not have but he sure seemed connected... john paul. and it goes on the contacts. of infinity.. where ever you are i love. you. but it seems.. like the walk is moving on.. with new shoes soon... it rained hard.. note just met donnie from portland.. or.. or maybe another town.. i can't spell im fast thou.. thinking. back to shoes.. its been like this meeting one person to the other. on and on . sometimes its the same story .. where you going.. on and on. and then . magic happens. when pints. fall and music.. calls. i do remember the fragile rock. and how it hit and everyone in the room jumps..... amazing.. so far.. but not all nice and easy.. moving around can get you sick of the road.. but your energy comes back when you hit new streets.. and then the back back back pack pack pack gets heavy and heavier and you slow down.. you stop in for a pint.. and wonder where you been and where your going...... just talked to sick dude as i put more pounds in the money web.. to try to complete this first batch of pictures.. there is person i want to thank for helping me discover the world of photography.. Thank You Steffanie!. .. Want to send love to Santa Ana and all you Crazies!..... What to say and Where to start.. Dublin.... got in .. Walk the Streets. Fucking expensive.... they call it the temple bar. i found it hard to get in on jams.. it seems territorial. and maybe they need that beat.. so i don't bother pushing.. i try to get in but.. not to much action.. sometimes when your walking with your guitar they expect you to play them something.. i got suduced but a beautiful young lady that talked me into a song in dunmore east.. we did it aint me.. babe... and it was pretty good.. i was not impressed with the youth in a whole on the saturday @ the bluegrass festival.. massive monsters.. drunk and messy as fuck.. litter bugs.. and wastiods... wankers.. some might say.. im just remembering who muck of a fuck i was. and how somewhere down that line i got older.. i'll never do what i did @ give up records again. and never through a party for the pubic. most kids don't know respect and they can't seem to get that fact that they are stupid.. We think we know so much at a young Age and all are parents can do is hope we get through it.. now lets say that all the parents don't get a passing grade... we all drop the ball and we all lack the right words @ the right times sometimes.. but we do see as we get older how much time has gone by and or lifes well pass.. its time to get on with it. or just die.. im a very fortunate man, person to be here typing.. this is my stale out so i don't scream out .. i would like to find a place.. and someone to call my own.. would like to feel secure in this skin.. and know who i am.. wish i was not so wishy washy.. sometimes i get very homesick and other times i so glad im away.. but the strange thing and or its the real feeling i have is i never left. i have all of you with me... and i can very quickly bring my friends into my heart. Been comming around to see the seeds of these different little scenes and found alot of the same love.. we all call home. friends.. love... i can also see the disctuction of material fake nuts... i want real nuts.. but they give you a poster of some hot sexy dude and tell you he is making good money .. she is making good money.. but i don't she really would take this purse out or he wears that underwear. but you will buy it. cause you want these material things and you want to love. but you don't really know what love is.. and you don't know how it feels to be a parent.. how it feels to see you a smaller younger you who most likely will make alot of mistakes you did and you have to let them go out and make those mistakes.... Could you shoot your own food.. and skin it hang it.. let it rot to tender... can you play a irish song.. can you drink pints all day long. farting stout... 2012 they are getting ready.. its a circus.. lot of pretty ladies ive meet. but there has been a few i really could but up with mother nature.. the naturalist. the Swiss @ ease .. the ones who want to discover that they can love and that love can be let in... thats the tuffy! but the Name is TUMZ and you don't forget it .. she is my girl.. she is sleeping up in my room taking a nape.. Robby snapped a string with tom banjo With Christina Banjo with All of Dunmore East Pounding making love with Sharon... with a shot of pure whiskey from waterford... to the taming of the Crystal Kings shall be no more and what will happen to waterford when the ships don't dock with travelers for new china .. its a lost art.. and you see it happening... But we are alive. and we shall not sit in the courner and be quiet .. we shall get in the front and talk to people and live this life.. get envolved. and burn this night.. averages seem to not get to bed till 4ish.. usually. waking early but.. hey.. been walking with this cross and its been good..healthy and sore.. over worked and tiered don't know what to do or where to go.. grab a pint and talk to someone.. everytime it seems this has worked.. to paul.. to shamis and ann down to the straind.. Bluegrass jams.. to cork to the blu bare to Christian from new zealand and that great comments he some mellowly told.. to the trumpet man in chicago hope your working it out with that hot mama!... to the ladies in cork who have to get up in 2 hours to get to work.. to james bango on his advice and his vocals you could hear in the next city.. to all the buskers ive have jammed with .. that pretty lady in dublin.. with that beautiful voice.. shes been here since to and only shows about 5 euro down there. she is struggling but so amaizng.. to the Beautiful women from montreal .. she works @ a coffee shop and just got into dublin from east berlin.. she plays old folk songs with her baratone ukelalie... to the sara grey band that made me cry.. to joyce. and to Joyce again! to Rejoyce for is the love real.. and why must i cry continually about you Walk on Walk on Walk on please walk on... im in doubt and about to call out all the stops.. To the GAlway Gang @ club 905 Thanks for the couch and the sholder to cry on.. to james and buddy and the Car Ride Beyond.. To the Feather droping on my hand from the sky and the butterfly stoping to say hi .. to the spider crawling out of my guitar case.. to sean going to see his girl friend its been two weeks... to the fact that i have found out that i to have a accent!... to my sore throat comming on .. to much drink and smokes.. more Vitamn c .. to the going to liverpool and hope my liver does not fall out.. To All ive meet from dublin but not in dublin. and now i most go back..
to the rain and the weather of ireland. like a babies face... gonna go.. get some tea.. to the b n b .. to the ginger and pipperment tea... to that sea to the lighthouse.... to the great Craic on the train.. and on and on.. to the crazy walks up the hill by the golf course the crazy moon.. sleep till noon..

whats to worry about?

2009-08-14T12:01:00.000-07:00

In the Parking Lot I thought
it was a wild ride.
i woke up in the trunk
Alabama Slammer No its not me!
Stuck in Ohio Surrounded by Dear
you go the Wrong man! Let me sip my tea.
Service your Dirty Lip
Why so Nervous?
Fatal Romantic charms surface to frozen fate alarms
I could grab you
i should make you mine forever
cause we never keep tabs no excuses needed
you said it was fine to be clever
I am
find you in my heart draw you in my art
it was the moment it was the start
the Bright Fade in your eyes
shade was our aid our magic glow
was i asleep @ the wheel when we met
so long ago did this already happen?
was it hit or miss will it make more sense?
this time i found the clue
it was the bloom of your rose
love says lets go shall we?

_________________________________________

acapulco

Its not nice.
its Service
Who desires thei in such a slow drip of abyss
This flavor we savor our way in the suns glow
your eyes passage through thick sin we bendand honor
the ascending light of everlasting flow

---

the things i fear will become true!
in the last laugh we will smile
hearts filled with joy and contentment
rhythms will lead you to your palace of exile
where paradise is a ten percent of your life long orgy parade
it only took one look
found home

---

Found my Port in America
smooth legs rubbing my exsistense
Can;t cling to Jerusalem dreams
In mexcio missing my Monroe
my tinro the one i owe
for the love the i soe in Acapulco
i row to the only shore i know
we been here before for evermore

---

Light in the water
your respect goes to sleep early
instant graduation into levels of service
found the fall underground
hips move to the faster beats
loop and slide down slow

_______________________________________________

Things have become clear in teh early teachings
i forgot to tell you how much i love you
i want you to succeed and i will do what needs to be done
no need to be defensive
she is only trying to help you
last page to say something that makes sense
lay on the grass dream as the sun goes down
cold
go back to your spin
what dinosaur were you captain?
how cat i take commands from such fools?
Iceberg-

_____________________________________________________

Im looking through you
as the dance becomes fire
dark still light still siting at the bar
cold and hot food i have love...............arrrrrr
this music make me sick
and the beats in my will never quit
no day job can sustain this magic rhythm in my heArT
yesterday i was so depressed on the bus
Two 64 onces later i say my friends
and these clouds vanished as the sun sets in the eyes
brown eyes Brown dark Hair music
Strangers look through me will you ---- some do some don't
i don't mind with the mind eye in full effect someday
but for now i'll take the high lighter twister when ever your ready;)
Seems like there's some big joke with me and you
Let me say that one more time cause i forgot to laugh
you wear me we never wear out.
Sustain Forever.
running in the rain laughing and when that moment comes
where will we be?
Going east to face my fathers lands
going farther than ive ever gone before
but enough about me
study study study constant motion
bring back fall back on me
yes we all want to be wanted
show up
constant
love and respect

________________________________________________________

L Word
we have Passion
Avalanche Haunted the love
it will whip you and make you snap
rub your magic belly
whiskey for your herb?
looks like your friends are moving
i'll let you go again
we rustle and bustle fuss n fight
mumble and mock
the pain sets in over and over i don't get it
been wrong maybe im gonna snap
it gonna hurt when your love comes back

___________________________________________________

going to Vegas to see Johnny for the Last time
Leaving from the dark caves get picked up and fly
tonight Tonight its raining washing clothes remembering those loved ones
rain drop souls Drip and dance on the rooftops washing us clean
comfort in the sounds steady go go another another
worked up overdone volume soundtracks
monotone mantras lockjaw fixture face
artist freedom clinched flint flinched Finish Fletch
Hunter S. Thompson American Gun Pao
comedy sin Clear Change with no Hostile Reaction
we have strength in our love our blood magnet force
write a song. be it. mean it.
sense makes sense
your mind in circles - distrations?
turning turning blurry over and over again
move music creator break through relapse
words.

----

A New Face Fresh sink Towel Pat Turn On
Strobe Light With Suggested Laughter Pulling Your Attention
to mindless duh drool state.
easy access to slave joy paving the way for the walk over slide of the hand
shift/nevermind
that pull away dive into something more then easy stare
but don't stress on the thought...

-----

Dry Mouth short low breath leading the witness
tons of Paint plenty of Canvas
waiting for something? a place a face
something to chase? Slip gently
down and and sigh... moan.. and eventually Scream.
with passion with lust with trust with you and the devil
rolling joints pouring don julio
drunk lovers of awe and fade out when sun rises
find no need to mention hope for there is plenty of mind fueled ambition
Fever pitch
delay over lay ready mark ----- stop start cut
breath relax = = = = whats the panic
fever twitch write words like birds flying

______________________________________________________________________________

* We Can Handle it.....
* Do you have a Fetish.....
* Ponder for a Second
I Love you Billie I love My Lady Day
Baby Im Fool for your Love
I eat the Best Illusions
Heart Attack Beat Fuse Sing
Splinter out in through my Bubble POP
candles dreamy scary
honest truth living in the moment always
it can dance forever why not!
a constant flow leads
wagon tail intertwine
its all mind you see!
Breath and listen . -

_____________________________________________________________

I want to be the rain drop
the water pup
the wood crackle
give warm welcome to the good manner
when is it my turn to talk the magic word
please let me take your sand out of your shoe
i'll show you time is not in command
Broken skulls rainbow Lips
tive been stuck in a Pipe
Its headline news such a stupid kid
thy run for Senate!
run for congress!
give it a squeeze
its a Secret Tease.

___________________________________________________

Armed with words of electricity ... watch it.. take over yourself
Park next to the queen of material you pledge
being miserable able and willing to go the extra mile of pile of mule we carry our house her psycle started its that time of the moon
let me help i wanna help get your sponge
wring it out when it get useless and dumb
i way wierd thigns don't wanna admit my style
bother you tell you see love in pink tell me who felt the warmth
chase you protect you never harm or discomfort... how subtle are the eyes that lie.
you can lead me to trouble and if you gave me a knife told me to cut
Sacrifice my Sanity to be alive in lust peal to pulverize
into a real fuck it all frame of mind got gold fever
it kills me
its hard to get out of the pause
will i can i how should i say forget regret remember know now and i say i know what will be will be
opportunity meets the prepared on the spot hot tickets
enjoy your suffering cause you to to get on with it
fucking in the last stale
Beg to party my imagination is trashed
your still free to go to jail
hold on to your pagan roots
nature is now
slow down and breath
is that a heart beat i hear?

________________________________________________________________________

120707

Hey Jack - -

How about amusing each other for fun
the wind is blowing
someone to talk to r u ok?
rape love chop your hair off
spike black one day never the same
the swing dance killer apt
cool pic mo hawk had nice long blond hair
bad mistakes make artist even dry humor
Mistakes we make style verse not cutting
its wacky @ 4:45 listen to kuci little hammers
Little sky very wasted on whiskey and french beer
Self Serves. Trap nose hurts Black pool mud slides Rain on t.v.
Can't dance right now honey im still with numb stupid
Clear world turn i know it is .. it happened almost 53 times
always looking to fuck but i know im Buddha Chatter Cracking jokes
thats thats that you evil heart of terror boom zoom
sex is good for you -
electricity power good
little black dress thats so affordable third party
fuck you! if your not god than leave. the doors love them..__
Bout time the native came. explode
talking to myself venting chanting excepting the role
boxers get caught squeezing balls uncomfortable
loser weak energy become alive in your dance
fever break out before fly's gather

_

busy bee wish i was but maybe its just not the time turning into a jack long gone
train remember cato's?
Breath of fresh air
your friends and how much love cost the social slug
whiskey coach with sentimental love catch me
buy pets tath never die of course not lets all die
so we my appriciate this life this inch wow
so close to you my love my one everlasting lighter
coast to coast wind storm who's killing who-
turnign ito kings forgetful thankful rasin
tiered bored whip ready -- another day
what the fuck
am i doing in purple bongo densmore
so raw so scare dog talk work up stuffy breath
lazy morning couch numb
don't you know the third party
dog learned so much cat paper trash room everything is why?
cosmos big bag
hear the moron who is scared?
Really
smoke dope daily.....
freak out feeling good
chain smoke bite your lip
Chatter madness
broke the blass everywhere
temples pulse why were you born .... fluster glue clog
fuel compost.. shit.. fuel.. new fuel
silver jimbo say hello
ice cream scoop dream Mexican restaurant
masturbate breath stuck in flocks inches to death
confusion heavy load
chatter on teh and on movies prison
honor

----

the Blue Train of Sacred Tone
whats to much you ask. far beyond this
secrets of nightmare wanna be friends
glitter stone numb couch vic trola
e collar queen elizabeth record players
history mystery gold mind mad skratchy
fire glow witch hunt gallow orange city sky
bill collectors lost little girls it true she knows
can you sit down and make sense out of this
dinner party to dammed fucked up help me clean
more on the ball mr. i am the fuck the zone
delay dub pub bum rum cane humm your gonna laugh
chatterbox can't sit down the face is the mirror
the american dream scum bag clutter mug
you can give me a hard time if you want to
want a strange mornin, riders, eyes dry
eventually your stuck .. than what.

------------

don't cross the legs
wash your face
lord love whimpy slave reserve your fatal escape
for bold truth of strength and thrust
this new you of few sold cold on dollars pence
no sense to sell the song pay attention monkey
her melon calling blue suede class, buddy rocks
lets ring that bell jimbo your whiskey melt
banana japan plane
honor for love bit its not to happy when your selfishly insecure
write me a song and cry when you sing
you party all the time-
addict bust....
excuses fuck cut rut run whine - who scared you?
slide jeans rain poor land slide
mud pie lick mud suck fresh why were you born
pipe break through lez bo jack son wife gay friends
lovers soul kiss touch vacuum heart our cake
wish walking dead drowning woman contestant
shaking drinking coffee inches itch itchy why were you born
beautiful bird please take me to the mountains
then my body will surrender
surrender i will

________________________________________________________________________

The monkey The butterfly
Slick with Grace Find someone
Fond the more i gave the less i got
I myself when i see her face
Every word Every picture gets me going
Dose she know shes out to get me?
cant' leave this love the best music
what you see what you get
some people get it
I'm for real
real love

internal feeding

2008-10-29T13:42:00.001-07:00

Many reasons why im so so honest but on the other hand i lack true honesty in alot of ways... the ideas of what is a persona and what and how i should act as a ceo and what it in tales ... One of my strong points is just being myself.. so excuse the wholes and holes and such and such the whining the whimpering.. the lazy and selfish attributes that come along w/ me.. I believe there is a mighty team that makes this all happen and sometimes i get over absorbed in my world. All the Things ive gone through this year have been subtlety inspiring and pain growing some what gaining power and insight on who i am.. But the Good News is ive been learning to let things go or atleast change my perspective on it.. The Myspace World and its Third Party have some good things.. Its Seems the Third Party is ever Present and we are learning to live w/ it the ones who witness it day in and day out and it gets to you grows on you.. but like the Buddhist art that blows away my friend chris says its good to start over sometimes.. and yea i did lose some contacts but like another friend said to me.. Hey im your Friend jack.. with the blood shot eyes staring at me. he was right.. its the real people in your life that are w/ you.. and those need more attention... Dont' they? Give them some love..
working With new opportunity .. Hoping to get a new internship somewhere to gain inspiration and insight.. that also goes for anyone interested in working @ a record label.. we are not your normal record label so bare with us but the fact is still.. Success is in our future and its in the present as the heart beats w/ love and compassion and understanding.. Myself is truly needing this love and respect.. i don't respect myself like i should and like i said about mistakes.. lets learn from them and not repeat them.. Shall we?

updates and mistakes

2008-10-26T13:56:00.000-07:00

Alot of Mistakes i make along the way. but i am still very much into my world at large and plan on taking on any thing that stands in my way.. of course we should all no when to quit but im a long long way from that personally and professionally i have seem to come up on some ruff spots.. Needing a new computer and some new Microphones and im pretty much set. There is to much for me to do all @ once. but i am sure in time i can get it all done. I am in the Process of Finishing History of the city through 92. Once i hang them up i plan on a art show.. Have 2 shows coming up in Nov. for give up Productions. One @ the Derby w/ Slow and the shinobies i believe its nov. 16th. Slow has Broken up it seems so im gonna have to fill that slot w/ another band maybe my own a new band im playing in called Chopping Wood. we have a total of 14 songs we are working on and practicing tonight so that might happen. The Other Show Being nov. 30th @ proof Reboot Sundays w/ Lazy Preacher and Her Girl Friday and Jack Marko doing a Acoustic set. I'm Working w/ the Songbirds on doing more shows and promotions. im also getting more stickers/shirts and buttons next month and send some of the artist some good blessings... With Dr. Peppers Computer gone there is a whole which well be filled.. I did get a new bass amp to replace some of the stolen gear over the summer.. still need a new twin reverb and some mics like i said but getting the bass fills a big whole in the studio.. Ive Stopped Playing @ St. Andrews for awhile it seems like we don't get along really well and we should let that project breath for awhile and maybe pick it up next year sometime.. there is plenty to do learning about contracts, Barcodes, Printing Vinyl, Recording, Mixing, Mastering, Business lic. resellers lic, Trademarks, and more and more to learn and do. I made a mistake going w/ the LLC but what can you say. Ive Made Alot of Mistakes and sometimes all i can do is pray that it does not turn out to be to costly.. But Being the one in control i must continue on and do the best i can. we have been getting some good feed back from the artist and the people who have heard the compilations. I Just seem to get overwhelmed by it all and would like to delegate some responsibility to others. Me being depressed does not help as well but i am getting over that as well. i do wish that i did not cancel my jack marko file and mostly cause of one friend that i wish i could view and keep up to date w/ but it was this same friend that has clouded my mind w/ love and suffering for 18 months now.. funny enough it was my last crush how told my that i should take my own advice and cancel that account i was just thinking about it but after i took her out to lunch i did it and in hind sight i wish i didn't cause know i lost you in a way but that was my stupidity and now i must pay.. I pay alot for what i done and i dont' mind. the reason i talk about this stuff is because it all has alot to do w/ this label being that i am the label to a large degree. and that my attitude day to day can make or break what is getting done. and if i was not lonely and was really in love would it make a difference? Im sure it would and more stupidity on my part is most likely when and if i ever had a shot i have seemed to shove my foot im my mouth.. Some say when you know you know and i wish i could say that.. but this love is so obscure that i can't say exactly whats gonna happen. But i do know that it has been being force feed and now well just see if my horse comes in to drink. my mountain top. But i will do my best to be the one that stays pure and honest. I want to stay motivated and productive. i get so down and depressed i don't want to wake up i don't want to do anything. What is happening though is a change and with this change im pushing through working on songs working on the web site working on the myspace, working w/ the bands working w/ the clubs working working working.. and staying health and maybe down the road we will give us a shot.. its in gods hands at this point, it is what it is, as long as i work hard i can say i did and gave my best gave it all to the sky and see what falls upon me.. She knows..
Also in the process of Editing the Ten Videos from Burning man. the Camera got worked out in the desert and it functionalism's has faltered but will get it to work w/ a tape cleaner hopefully.. pay bills, Stay Happy, sometimes you don't like your shoes but hey its great to have feet isn't it! so what i don't have and what i have .. i am grateful and still diving in and trough all the difficulties and diversities that cause frictions and chapping all the easy ins and pushing outs all the battles and arguments and the laughter and crying we are still in the race still in the game. and i still choose to love you today like yesterday and tomorrow i don't thinks its ever gonna change and i have faith that it will lead us to wear we belong. like i was saying this is suppose to be a blog about the record label but its also about me.. my wish is for you all to be healthy and happy. much love and respect talk to you soon love jack

Dreams about the fan and st.andrews yelling

2008-09-22T16:02:00.000-07:00

I Dreamed of you last night. I Had a Feeling Cause ive been telling myself to forget about you. I Have Done this so many times and last night after talking it over w/ a friend who wound up getting drunk and yelling at me later, some friends i pick. Yea, i tell you i need a overhaul of Commonsense but the facts are the facts and we can't always see clearly as time passes. Yes, mistakes are in Abundance and i do play the fool it seem from time to time. But its great to be writing here to myself and one day it might shead some light on where im at when i might be reading this in the future. But Im Writing now just taking the trash out in my designer trader joes bag. I don't know what to say. But ONe thing i want to make clear is this is my life Mousecheese. My Advertures in running a record label. Know my so called mate C thinks its a fake record label and im not sure why he feels this way but it is not helping the fact that im already depressed. This Friend Yelling @ me does not help me at all. I Wonder why i keep him as a friend. Im also suppose to play music w/ him witch does not make sense. But yea this is my life so take it for what it is i hope not to squash anyone and most likely i will be yelling at myself more than anything. I don't need friends to yell at me and i don't like to yell at them this seem pretty simple to understand so i will move on. I don't want to get into the conversation. i tend to try to forget those dramatic Bullshits. So After i told him to get the fuck out of my face he slammed my car door and told me to work harded. he is doing what he thinks he should do and so am i. The Fact is i want to be A Functional Record Company and A Artist and A Musician, and Also go out and have some fun and be in a band or and some other projects be a DJ and write and respond, and also learning cubase and business. There is not enough room for all of this. Just the Label Alone is Plenty. Most People Promote themselves and i could just have easily dropped this idea and Dropped everything and just Thought of myself but no i had to do this and get all fucked up in the process and now im in the middle and Confused and alone and its difficult. But there are a few That Believe in Give Up Records And me being the President i Plan on moving Foward and Making Everything Happen. I Mean Everything. But one Thing That has been Bugging me in this Crush i had on this 26 year old Photographer. I spend a year and a half ever since the first day i met her ive been in some kinda love. But what im finding is its not real and she has no interest. So I do my best to Forget about her and when i do this i tend to have a dream About her. This dream was in a hilly burning man feel and we talked, i forget what it was about but i spent the rest of the dream searching for her all over i wound up in some circus tent w/ a bunch of dusty bohemian types and she was no where to be found. Im sick of it and want her out of my head. I tend to get a little upset about it cause i put some much energy into it. I swear i would have dropped everything to be w/ her and i guess this is testomony to how lonely i have been. How much distractions i have and how hard it is for me to focus. So when a so called dear friend tells me my record label is fake well its easy to see that i don't want any part of it. I don't care if you got this or that. I don't need it. i don't blame you or her for my problems my outlook my perception. I need to focus on mousecheese and let this person become the person he or she will become. Day to Day. and Make this label be what its gonna be. A Success!, So right now what is happening @ give up studio's? im working on a song.. and doing History of the City Parts 47 through 52.. Im Gonna have a Small Party on Oct 4th and have a Big Art Show in Dec. We are presently Mixing Slow's first Album and Jack Marko and his Distractions well release a acoustic Album by the end of the year. Its Alot of stuff and personally its to much for me to do. And my supporting Cast is uncertain. There are a few that i can count on. But its all so much that just thinking about it make me crazy. so one more time when you tell me its a fake label you pretty much are pissing on me. and if it is A Fake label and you read this and don't want to be apart of it. Thats fine w/ me it makes me angry and i don't like to get like this. Im emotional and Fragile at this point. but for the first post you might say that it does not look good. But if you want to stick around and find out well thats up to you. Like i said Im sure i could have just Concentrated on myself and my own art and my own music and said to hell w/ everyone but i didn't and now i have to pay the pipper and go through the difficulty of managing everything. And About the dream Girl.. She has Got enough of me im sure she well be happy that i will no longer be in touch. Cause it seems like ive been so out of touch. But the Fact are i do want you and still do just have to train myself knowing that nothing is happening and i need to move on. As for eVerything im going through im blissed to have these problems and know that i am in a really good position to make things happen. Sometimes things fall apart and then comeback together brand new and more solid and aware.